Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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