Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
