yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
