i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
