We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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