FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I want a musical about memes.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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