U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
