I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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