Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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