and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
