Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
