i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My bed smells like the plague
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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