I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
