nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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