first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
