ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
