Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Two words: blizzard sex
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
