So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
