Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
