She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
