talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
