dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
