she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
