Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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