sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
