i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize