Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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