Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
