I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
