So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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