wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
