Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
