How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
