She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
