He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
