evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So much rum. So many feels.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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