So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
