We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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