What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
