Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
