The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
