THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
