Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
