so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
