At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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