All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
