I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
