So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
