Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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