I swear she didn't look like that last week.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
