I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
