i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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